Stranded at the Drive - In

I've spent the past 25 years, wanting to go to a drive - in movie. They are hard to come by these days. According to www.driveintheaters.com, there are only 2 drive-in theaters in the whole state of Maryland. One of them happens to be the historic Bengies located in Baltimore, just a quick 45 minute drive from my house. I went with some friends in hopes of seeing the main feature, Iron Man.

From the minute we arrived, there was something odd about this place. Maybe it was the man at the gate that firmly reminded us the speed limit was 5 mph. Or, maybe it was the brightly painted signs, explaining their extensive rules everywhere you turned. And if you somehow missed the signs, they made sure each car had a copy of the rules.

"No obscene language will EVER be tolerated." "No outside food permitted unless you have a food permit. If you do have a food permit do not share the food with those who do not have a food permit. No audiovisual equipment, recording devices or cameras of any kind are permitted on the premises EVER. If so, law enforcement may be involved."

These are just a few of the extensive list of rules, the breaking of such would result in expulsion from the park. We joked from the very beginning that there was no way we were going to remember all of these rules. I lamented that I left my rule list in the car on our walk to join another group of friends at their car.

We caught the tail end of The Spiderwick Chronicles, leaving me little desire to see the full movie. During intermission we took a food/bathroom break. More weirdness. 40 cents to add pickles to your hamburger. Aren't pickles standard these days?

We tried to take a group picture, but immediately after the flash, a theater worker bee-lined his way over to where we were. The conversation went something like this:

Worker that takes himself too seriously: Do you have a camera?
Us: Uh, yes
Worker that takes himself too seriously: Did you just take a picture?
Us: Yes
Worker that takes himself too seriously: Delete it!! Delete it right now!! It is a federal offense to have a camera on this property.

Well, we deleted the picture, but that didn't stop him from taking down our license plate number and calling for back up, at which point we were told to leave. We didn't put up much of a fight, though we did express our disbelief in being kicked out for taking one picture. Preston and I had to walk back to his car, and were noticeably followed by Worker that takes himself too seriously. We walked around for 15 minutes, trying to steer him off course so we could get inside the car and actually watch the movie. But when we got in the car, he was right behind us, ever so politely directing us with his mini lightsaber of power.

All in all, it was a hilarious night that ended up not as we intended, but more entertaining than we could have hoped. I don't blame Bengies, after all, we did break the rule. Who knew they were such sticklers! Sticklers or not, I'd go to their drive-in again.

Because it's been 25 years and I still have not really been to a drive-in.